A friend just told me about a horribly embarrassing moment when his toddler blurted out something inappropriate in a crowd. The rest of our conversation was about innocent remarks gone badly.
We are in Kroger’s produce section. Alli is three years old. She’s riding in the front of the cart. It’s obviously Senior Citizen Day and we are getting a few stares simply because we do not match, and maybe because Alli is rather adorable.
Alli seems to sense that she is center stage surrounded by not only greens and bananas, but by a lot of people looking at her.
While I reach for a bag of apples, she yells, “Don’t hit me!”
Suddenly all eyes are on me.
All I could do was look at my child, dumbfounded.
That little rascal busted out laughing. She was laughing so hard, she was kicking her feet, rocking the cart and loving every minute of my discomfort (which seemed to last a good hour.)
Up and down every aisle, I received glare upon glare. My only saving grace was that Alli was so bubbly and giggly and friendly, that she did not look abused in any way.
I can only guess she picked up that phrase at Parent’s Day Out. I know she never heard it in our household.
The child also called crackers, crack. She would ask for them at most inopportune times by holding her little hands out with a desperate look and shouting, “Crack! Crack!”
When she was a little older and was learning body part names, she asked her Daddy, over dinner, “Do you have a rooterus?” (uterus)
(On a side note, at present I have one I’d like to give away.)
It seems I was a bit of a vocal ham myself. I don’t remember too many of the events, but I have heard the stories repeatedly.
In the early ‘60’s you didn’t see many shaven or bald heads. If a man was balding, he wore a hat. Evidently in the middle of a crowded Sunday after church crowd at Shoney’s I stood up in my chair, pointed to the man who had just walked in the door with his bald head and announced,
“LOOK! It’s Mr. Clean!”
It is also rumored that I pointed with my middle finger.
And then there’s the time my parents and brothers were laughing at me during dinner. I became upset and told them to stop laughing at me. My father said, “But we are not laughing at you, we are laughing with you!”
To which I replied in a most dramatic voice, “But I wasn’t laughing!”
I am nobody’s fool.
There’s also the one about a card game…
My family didn’t want to exclude me but they also didn’t want me messing up their card game, so they’d let me sit at the table with them with my own cards. Only I never realized I really wasn’t part of the game. They were just letting me pretend to play. One night it dawned on me that my score was not being included.
I threw down my cards and said, “I feel like such a fool.”
Of course, that statement and all of the above are unendingly used in our family.
But I guess that’s the way it will be forever more…I still refer to crackers as crack when I’m around Alli.
Well, on to recent news…
This blog was actually one I had ready to post last week when all hell broke loose when my mother took ill. (She is stable and I will fill you in later.)
Remember that one weaving I was doing back in winter, the one with the tiny thread? Hmmm. It looks more like something you’d find in a first aid kit for a skinned knee than something you’d actually make a shawl with. So, I wove some feathers into it and added it to a wall hanging of items that Alli has made over the years.
A grapevine had to be removed from our fence out back before it choked out the roses. I could not bear to just get rid of it, so I made a basket.
I think I’ve been very inspired by Mr. and Mrs. Robin’s nest
And finally, on Easter Sunday we carried our webcam over to my parents and let them Skype with Alli. I sometimes forget how much technology has changed over the generations. They are amazed that they can sit in their home in one state and converse, real-time with their grandchild who’s in another state.
Two weeks from now, about the time Mr. and Mrs. Robin find their nest empty, our baby bird will be back to the nest with her fun way with words.
I better stock up on crack.