A Pet Weave

I may have to take a personal weave day which is better than being absent without weave. No heavy weaving while on the phone, okay? Excuse me while I reweave myself.

You’ve been warned that I like to play with words, and yet you keep reading. Thank you.

I’ll stop now.

Okay, when I last wrote, I was sinking into a dark place and trying to save myself from falling. (See Sleeping with Harold under Messed up Stars – 2/18/2012)  This time my source of self therapy was in weaving a rug. Thus said rug ended up a total fail, ripped out and rolled into a ball of fabric with plans for reweaving. I relate this to life and how when I mess up, I must learn what I’ve done wrong and just start over.

This week has been better. 

 I think the snow helped.

Yes, I said snow. It only lasted a few hours, but it was absolutely beautiful.

Radnor Lake

We enjoyed a long, snowy walk in the woods at Radnor Lake State Natural Area . It’s one of our favorite places and although it’s relatively close to the city, it’s a nice little oasis of tranquility. It truly is a treasure. All three of us share fond memories of Radnor. Alli was a member of the Junior Rangers program there for several summers, and we have been walking there for years and years. I sometimes feel like I know every plant and tree along the Lake Trail.

It’s no surprise that in one of my dreams this week I am walking with Larry in the woods. We come upon a museum in the forest. I am very excited to share its treasures with Larry, since he has never been there before. After our visit, we continue on our way along the path and it suddenly turns into solid ice. People are skating on it and we notice an outdoor skating rink with a place to rent skates. Larry insists we skate. The helper takes Larry’s shoes and hands him a pair of skates. He takes my shoes and hands me a toaster.

This is so weird, but then again so familiar.  I think it was the same location and same era as my life in the English countryside. (See Dream State Championships -12/08/11) But really. A toaster?

The next interesting dream I had was another one with Mom. The two of us are hiking in what seems to be Bryce Canyon. It’s hot and quiet and there is no one around. We squeeze through a tight place in the trail between rock formations. In front of us is a vertical wall of red rock. Thinking it was impossible, I turn to go back when Mom grabs my shoulder and says, “We can do this. Come on.” And she proceeds to go for a hand hold and pull herself up on the rock wall. I joined her, and together, hand hold after hand hold and good footing we make it to the top.

I really don’t know about my crazy dreams, but both of these (minus the toaster) were comforting.

Back to reweaving…Well, I frowned at that yarn ball of a rug for several days, then I tackled it one more time, sure that I knew what mistakes I had made. I worked hard to correct them this time.

Guess what?

Fail #2.

Can you believe it? Grrrrrrrrr I was pretty bummed. I had Larry help me pull and tug at it, and still, I had another sombrero/dog bed on my hands. I had to walk away from it.

I gave it a couple of days, then I ripped that rug out again, and this time I found the missing ingredient.

It was sunshine!

Last Sunday we had snow. Today it was spring like and in the 60’s. I took that darn rug out on the deck and rewove it with the sun in my face, and the birds singing in the trees and my dog by my side. As I wove the last rows, I kept thinking how it looked like it was going to lie flat this time. I tried to forget basket weaving which I’m used to, where it must be woven tightly, and I wove loosely this time. What if it was another fail? Would I even want to try again?

Yes, I would. I’m not one to give up. Besides, I have another project waiting in the wings and I can’t bring myself to begin something until I complete what I’m working on. That’s a huge pet weave of mine. ☺

-Libby Lu

P.S. Third time was a charm. The rug is complete and I’m happy with it. Also on other news this week – a miracle has occurred. Alli called and chatted for 40 minutes. We caught up on the news and she never once asked for money! Sweet.

Sleeping with Harold under Messed up Stars ♥ a post Valentine’s post

The stars or at least my stars have been out of line this week. I’ve had odd dreams and misunderstandings, insomnia and sinus issues.  My dark place is trying to reach out and suck me in and I’m fighting like crazy.

Larry said that maybe if we slept with Harold we would both feel better.

Hmmmm I was really surprised he wanted this. Although he knows I love Harold and think he’s adorable, Larry’s never paid much attention to him before and has acted like he didn’t care for him. He’s most certainly never invited him into our bedroom. So, since he was suddenly eager, I agreed to this arrangement.

We’ve slept with Harold for the last few nights.

Harold actually kept me up the first night with his noise and steamy ways.  But I got used to him.

Meet Harold, the cool mist humidifier.

Sinus issues abound in Nashville. They say it’s one of the worst places to live if you have any kind of respiratory problem. The weather is as moody as a pre-teen girl around here. One of my favorite sayings is, “If you don’t like the weather in Nashville, stick around another hour.

In the past week we have had sleet, sunshine, and rain, and snow, drear and windy weather. It’s been anywhere from 19 – 60 degrees F. Maybe this is why my stars have been lined up wrong.

I had some misunderstandings this week that really were the catalyst to my dark place. I don’t do well with pressure or conflict. I detest the thought of someone thinking of me as someone who I’m not. Although I know that it is probably impossible for anyone, I sure would like to be at peace with all people at all times.

In an effort to combat my darkness, I wove a very cool rag rug. It was an amazing bit of therapy for me. There’s something so peaceful in making something new out of something old, in mixing colors that compliment and bring joy to the beholder.

Sadly, when I took thus said rug off of its frame, it curled up like a dog bed, or a very heavy sombrero.

Whatever.

After pouting a little over what could be considered a waste of time, I realized it wasn’t lost time at all. It was time spent thinking of nothing much but the task at hand, the weaving, the over and under pattern, the colors and texture.

Weaving is a rhythm that connects to my soul.

While weaving, one cannot help noticing one’s hands. When did mine begin to look like my grandmother’s? As I wove, I thought of her and my mother, of their hands and their lives. And since it was Valentine’s Day week, I thought of their marriages.

Here are three generations on my maternal side:

Turner and Ma Katie, my maternal great grandparents

Mama Doye and John, my maternal grandparents

Dot and Les, my parents

 

All of the above people faced conflict and heartbreak beyond imagination. They endured the loss of children, the loss of health, the loss of parents, of siblings and friends, of income and even the loss of shelter.

They all probably had sinus issues, too. (And now, doesn’t sinusitis sound trivial?) And I imagine they were misunderstood on occasion. (Again… minuscule.)

But look at them.

What kept them together? What kept them sane and content? What do they seem to share in common? I believe they were spiritually bound together by love and commitment. For better or worse, these people stuck together and cared for each other. They were strong for each other. They were best friends.

Through all of my conflicts last week, Larry listened to me, cooked for me, rubbed my back and generally showered me with love and understanding.  He made me feel like I mattered. I never forget how lucky I am to have married my best friend.

Libby Lu and Sweetbuns first comes love, then comes marriage…1984

Jackson Browne’s The Late Show lyrics come to mind…

But when you know that you’ve got a real friend somewhere,

Suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear

The darkness is lifting for me right now. It’s time for me to weave some more and move on.

The rug ball

Now that I know what I did wrong with that darn rug, I have taken it apart and will attempt putting it back together once more. Hopefully I will not make the same mistakes.

It’s sort of like life, isn’t it?

Happy late Valentine’s Day

Always keep at least one close friend by your side at all times, and when things get messed up, don’t forget that you can always start over.

Love,

Libby Lu